Apology
by Bunnirabbit
Summary: Just a little missing scene from some time around the post-Oliver arc! Rated M for sexual situations


Set some time after the post Oliver reconciliation arc, but with all of our favorite teens, so definitely a bit of timeline fudging so that I could include the whole crew. See if you can catch a hint of a pairing that I thought would have been cute in the first season! Obviously a slight au, but canon based. Thought that Marissa's efforts to win Ryan back were very cute and it was nice to see her taking charge of their relationship.

Zach's parents were away on some sort of smart trip type thing–in the words of Summer, to Seth, to Ryan–so, naturally, a group of Newport teens had gathered around their liquor cabinet (well stocked, but tasteful). Now, seven buzzed teenagers sat in a circle on Zach's parent's plush rug. Naturally (once again), they were playing truth or dare.

"Tell one of someone else in the room's secrets," Summer said. Her eyes focused on Seth, not entirely free of malice.

Summer knew that Seth had never kept a secret for more than a few minutes, so he wasn't sure why she was using her question asking chance like this.

"Ryan kept the rose Marissa gave him after the Oliver debacle in a vase for like a month," he blurted out. He wasn't sure if that was the type of secret Summer had been fishing for, but, frankly, he was a few drinks too deep to care all that much.

A round of 'oohs' rang out across their small circle. Seth could see Luke wack Ryan's arm. His adopted brother's face was heating up quite noticeably, and Seth knew that there was no way Ryan could blame the alcohol. You could take the boy out of Chino, but you couldn't take the Chino out of the boy. As Ryan made a throat slicing motion at Seth, the brown haired boy noticed the thoughtful look on Marissa's slightly flushed face. His inner old jewish woman was cackling. Though he hadn't intended it, it seemed that Drunk Seth was a real match maker.

As the night progressed, Seth noticed that Ryan and Marissa seemed to be inching closer together. With Anna's progression into Luke's lap sometime around twelve, and Zach's quick trip to the bathroom to puke and rally (the poor guy could not hold his liquor), only Summer sat between the two and she looked ready to get out of there. Seth caught her eye.

"May I suggest that we call it a night? I feel that the lovely Summer and I should go help out our gracious host," Seth announced, wobbling to his feet.

"That sounds like a great idea Seth!" Summer said, only slightly too enthusiastic to help out the puking water polo player who could be heard faintly retching from the bathroom.

Luke and Anna didn't look like they were going to protest, so Seth turned on his heel, steadying himself against the wall.

"You can all grab the bedrooms down here," Summer called as she rushed to follow Seth into the bathroom.

* * *

As Luke and Anna stumbled off, Ryan steadfastly kept his eyes on their retreating backs. He could hear Marissa rising to her feet. He imagined her tanned legs sliding against each other. He remembered how surprisingly warm she always was, the way that the tiny peach fuzz on her thighs felt under his fingers. Luke and Anna disappeared behind a bend in the hallway and suddenly Ryan felt like he was suffocating. He could hear the floor creak ever so slightly as Marissa slid over to stand in front of him.

Marissa was standing in front of him and Ryan had no idea what to do. Seth hadn't lied, Ryan did keep the rose Marissa brought him. He had suffered through the embarrassment of asking Kirsten for a vase because he didn't want to just use a cup from the pool house. No one had every done anything like that for Ryan before.

"Ry," Marissa's voice was soft, but it made Ryan look up at her from his place on the floor, "let's talk."

Marissa reached a slim hand down to Ryan. He uncurled himself, unclasping his hands from where they were hugging his knees. He let Marissa pull him off the ground. The strength that had always surprised Ryan when they were together showed itself. He wasn't sure if it was on purpose, but it comforted him nonetheless. Marissa held onto his hand for a moment longer than necessary. From the look in Marissa's eyes, he could tell that that was on purpose.

Marissa led the way down the hall. The walk felt longer than it could have been. Ryan wasn't sure if it was because of anxiety or anticipation. Marissa opened the door for them and closed it behind her as she stepped into the room after Ryan. He wanted to say something, to thank her or yell at her or just do something. He almost jumped when she put her hand on his shoulder and guided him to sit down on the bed. He was expecting her to sit next to him on the bed or even just start kissing him, but she sat down on a small stool that was sitting near the dresser next to the bed.

"Marissa..." Ryan felt like his words were burning his throat.

"Ry, I'm not going to bite," Marissa said with her signature upturn of her lips. Ryan knew she wasn't laughing at him, but he was wary. There usually was no time for talking in most of Ryan's past...relationships. Usually, he only hooked up with people, and even in his actual dating relationship with Marissa, they spent the vast majority of their time together, alone, in the pool house, with more of their clothes on the floor than on their bodies. People rarely wanted to talk to Ryan, much less so when they could be fucking him. Ryan was fine with that, but there was something about the way that he felt about Marissa that made him want her to want to talk to him. He wanted Marissa to want _him_, not 'whoever she wanted him to be.' That wasn't a new feeling for Ryan, but he had never felt this way so strongly.

"You sure about that?" Ryan said, letting the warmth in Marissa's half smile calm him down enough to crack a joke. He got a surprised laugh from Marissa. She chuckled for a minute, but her face grew serious.

"I want to fix our relationship. For real this time. I've been thinking–I know, Seth would be shocked–but please let me talk for a bit," Marissa looked at Ryan. He swore he could see more in her eyes than she would ever be able to convey with words, but the more logical part of Ryan's brain reminded him that looks meant nothing. Words only meant a little bit more, but at least that was something. He gave her a nod.

"First, I should have trusted you. Not just about Oliver, but about the things I was doing before that got us into that whole disaster and some of the stuff I did after. It wasn't fair of me to expect you to be fine with me drinking just because of where you're from." Ryan could see the regret in her eyes. He also knew it was completely against Marissa's nature to be so blunt and, honestly, to take responsibility like this. He didn't mean that in a particularly bad way, but Marissa had never really needed to take responsibility for most things before Ryan came along.

"I can tell you're finding a way to turn this into something about how much of a burden you are, but that's bullshit," Ryan was shaken out of his thoughts by Marissa's words. She didn't sound as calm as she had been before.

"Ryan, you're amazing, honestly, and I haven't done a good enough job making you see that. I know you'll have something to say about that, but just know that it's the truth," Marissa sounded almost furious. It was almost hard to listen to her, not because it was scaring Ryan, but because Marissa just kept surprising him. Again and again, Marissa treated him as something important, as something that mattered.

"I should never have done the things I did that made you uncomfortable, and I should never have blamed you for being uncomfortable with them. I also should have trusted you, about Oliver and about everything. You're smart Ryan. Last, I shouldn't have tried to get back with you," Ryan felt his heart fall. Even though he had been the one to reject her, he wanted to be with her so badly.

"I understand, thanks for telling me like this," Ryan said as he moved to stand. He hoped he was smiling, but he honestly couldn't be sure. He didn't want to sound like Seth, but he swore he was feeling physical pain. The O.C. really had made him 'minty.'

"Ry, I still want to be with you," he could hear the smile in Marissa's voice. He couldn't stop himself from looking up far to quickly to maintain his so-called 'cool guy appeal.'

"I just meant that I shouldn't have tried to make you forget about everything. I should have listened to you, and before you say that you wouldn't have wanted to talk, I should have made you. I also shouldn't have tried to...have sex with you the way I did. You shouldn't have to push your girlfriend off of you," Ryan had never heard the tone Marissa's voice had taken on pointed at him before. She sounded so ashamed of herself. All Ryan wanted to do was tell her to stop feeling like that, but there was truth to what she was saying.

"Thank you. I can't make a whole speech like you, but," Ryan paused here, unsure of how to express what he was feeling. Not for the first time, he wished that he could have just a tiny bit of his adoptive brother's ability to fill every silence. "I'm really happy you said this. I really like you Marissa. There's stuff I need to apologize for, like acting crazy with Oliver and never being able to talk to people, but I want..." Ryan trailed off, feeling like he had already said far too much. Those sentences alone held more depth than all of what Ryan usually said in a week. Marissa was looking at him expectantly, but not in a way that made Ryan nervous. If he decided not to say anything else, he didn't think Marissa would judge him. He wanted to say more though.

"I want to be with you. I know I said we should take a break, but...but I regretted it all the time," Ryan finished. He knew his face was probably burning by now, but he felt an odd sort of pride. Marissa was looking at him so happily, with something that, if Ryan was less cynical, he would call love. He had managed to express what he felt with minimal long pauses.

Marissa rose from the stool she had been perched on. Ryan was hypnotized by the slight sway of her hips, accentuated by her pants, held up only by her sharp hipbones. He wanted to feel their sharpness against the planes of his stomach. Marissa leaned down and placed a light kiss against Ryan's cheek. He felt overwhelmed, his emotions running high after his confession. He was overwhelmed by the rawness, by the tenderness she was showing him, by the possibilities he was being faced with, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He was shocked to find that he trusted Marissa to take care of him. As she reached a hand up to his cheek, he leaned into it. He could feel the heat of the pleased expression on her face coil in his stomach. Gently, she brushed his hair back, leaning to place more chaste kisses across his face. Her lips touched his cheek bone, the tip of his nose, the ridge of his eyebrow. He could hear his own breaths, coming in little huffs. For once, he wasn't overcome with thoughts about the next move. He was consumed by Marissa's presence.

"Lay back for me, Ry," Marissa said. He voice was low and her eyes shone with lust, a familiar expression to Ryan. He wasted no time, scooting up the bed. Marissa didn't immediately join him. Instead, she stood above him, as if she were surveying him. Ryan could feel himself wanting to tense under her gaze. She was looking at him in a way no one else did. Sure, he'd had plenty of people above him, looking down at him. Many of those people had been looking at him, arousal plain on their faces, but Marissa looked at him like she was going to _devour _him. Yet, her eyes still conveyed that softness and adoration Ryan was so unused to having directed at him. It was making him shiver minutely.

Somehow, Marissa could tell. She looked pleased.

"Why don't you take off your shirt," She said. Ryan couldn't suppress the full body shudder that shook him at the sound of her voice. She always just had this power over him. It took him a second, before his brain could reboot, but slowly, he peeled off the dark tee had been wearing. He felt oddly self conscious, but the heat in Marissa's eyes made the shame burn off. As he tugged the shirt over his head, Ryan felt her move towards him. She stood over him and all Ryan could do was stare up at her and wait for her next suggestion.

"Unbutton your pants."

Ryan scrambled to obey, but Marissa put a steadying hand on his shoulder. It was soothing but did nothing to stop the blood from rushing south. Usually, Ryan bristled at being told what to do. (He'd made the mistake of being a blind follower once and he never planned to make it again.) But, right now, all he wanted to do was listen to Marissa. Ryan was so used to being unsure of what he was supposed to be doing with himself in Newport. He always felt out of place and unsteady, as if he was one wrong move from being back in Juvie. Listening to Marissa, hanging on her every word, he didn't have to worry about anything. He trusted her to tell him what was needed from him. Marissa took that all away as she leaned in, placing her small hand over his, helping him to push his pants off his hips.

Ryan sat, his body shaking in anticipation as Marissa followed his pants, crouching between his legs. She looked up at him, her eyes filled with a mixture of deviance and something that looked a bit like adoration.

"Stay still for me?" She said it like a question, but Ryan knew it wasn't. He nodded jerkily.

Marissa leaned in and Ryan had to crush his fingers into the formerly pristine sheets to stop his hips from canting upwards because her mouth was on him and he was lost. She started with little licks, each one making Ryan shiver and writhe above her. This did not seem to bother Marissa though, as she continued at her playfully slow pace. Ryan wasn't sure he could take it.

"'Rissa," he panted, wanting to say something, suddenly desperate for her reassurance.

"Aw, Ry, you're being so sweet for me," she said, reaching up to run her hand against his abdomen. "What do you want? It can be anything at all," she whispered, her breath ghosting against him, making him shiver all over again. Ryan felt paralyzed by the question. He didn't want to have to choose. He realized that he was making a little whining noise, but he couldn't stop himself. Thankfully, Marissa seemed to sense his discomfort through that noise, but she didn't seem off put. In fact, Marissa seemed pleased at his noises.

"I..." Ryan huffed. He wanted to respond to Marissa, to do what she told him to, but he had no idea what to day. He was hoping that once he started talking, something would come to him, but it was clear to Ryan that he was at a loss. "I want... I want you to do what ever you want."

Ryan could feel Marissa inhale against him. He couldn't stop the little spike of panic at that. Maybe he'd scared Marissa off. He knew that he was supposed to be the one to take the lead, to make Marissa feel safe and comfortable, but here she was doing that for him, and he was loving it. The feeling of Marissa's teeth against Ryan's stomach startled him out of his thoughts. Ryan couldn't stop noise that he made at the feeling, twisting against the sheets below him. Marissa's mouth was so warm, a comfort from the pinch of her teeth. Ryan hoped that it would leave a mark.

"You're amazing," Marissa said, crawling up Ryan's body. "How does this sound? I'll give you some hickies, because I know how much you love that," Marissa's voice was lilting, soft but confident, in Ryan's ear. Marissa ran her hands across Ryan's body as she spoke, dragging her finger tips across his skin lightly. "Then, you'll get me off and I'll get you off. I haven't decided how you'll get off yet, but I'll help you through everything."

"Marissa!" She punctuated her plan with a sharp bite to Ryan's neck, that he could not help but respond to. Ryan didn't even realize Marissa could say things like she just had. Ryan couldn't deny that it was having an enormous effect on him. He nodded as best he could and Marissa smiled.

"Good boy."

Ryan couldn't help the dry sob that tore itself from him.

Marissa smoothed her hand through his hair and lean back in to kiss him.

* * *

That's all!


End file.
